For the first time in a very long time, my life was taking on a sense of "normal." I still dealt with my insecurities and longing for someone to share my life with. But I began praying for forgiveness and mercy. And God showed up for me big time!
Even though I didn't feel like it some of the time, and even though my heart had been broken into a million pieces, I was still moving forward and trying to do the right thing. My life was being transformed little by little, even though I still slipped up occasionally.
That fall, I moved out of the apartment complex and into an apartment on the second floor of a two-story four-plex. It had two bedrooms and was very similar to the one I had lived in a couple of years earlier. I didn't have the nicest things, and I didn't even have a color television. But it was MY place, and I didn't really worry about much when I was living there. If anyone was walking up to my apartment, I could hear it and be prepared.
Don showed up there one night very drunk, and I took him back home to get him out of my hair. He called me later and blamed me for the problems he and Cindy were having. He beat her up again, and he tried to blame it on me. He said it was my fault. I think this was the first time that I didn't let him get to me. I knew it wasn't my fault. I told him to stop calling me, and to please leave me alone. In fact, one night, Cindy called me, and I told her that he was calling me and asked her if she could make him leave me alone.
1991 started, really with no fanfare, but on a good note. The time was getting nearer when my life was really getting ready to change. I felt in my heart that something was going to change, but I didn't really know what.
At the first of February, I went on a ski trip with my friends and pastor from church. I was so relieved that I wouldn't be home for several days, and Don couldn't call me and tell me how pitiful his life was. I couldn't be drawn into his misery if I was gone. There were no phones to call out, and he had no way to call me, either. He didn't even know I would be gone.
As I stood out on the balcony on a condo at Breckenridge, looking out at the snow-covered mountains, I made the plea to God that I had never made before. I prayed that if He would please just forgive my mistakes, would He please give me another chance with His choice for my life. I would wait for the man who was meant to be with me this time.
After I prayed, I felt peace come upon me like I had never had before. And I knew that God heard my prayer and was going to answer me.
We had such a great time on this trip. I really enjoyed being gone from home. On the long drive home, I sat in the front seat of the van and talked to my pastor about my life and all of the things that had happened. He had great words of encouragement for me, as he always did. He was very close friends with my parents, as we had all known each other for so long.
Unknown to me, God was working on my behalf. A man 1,500 miles away had just lost his job and began a traveling job, which would lead him directly to my town, to my church, and into my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment