He Reeled Me In

Although some of the details have been far removed from my mind, I still remember some things as clear as day.

He was very charming and seemed nice. Even my family liked him when they spent an evening with him. I didn’t tell them what I knew, though.

We met while he was a clerk in a gas station. I thought he was good-looking, he seemed interested in me, I called him when I got home, he expressed wanting to go out with me, I asked if he would be willing to spend an evening with my family, he said yes, we got together one night, and that’s when it started.

After dinner and some card games with my parents, they left us alone to talk. He told me that he had recently been put in jail for beating up his girlfriend. But she was an alcoholic, she was cheating on him, it was her fault…blah, blah, blah.

But, being the naïve young woman I was, I believed what he said. I mean, it couldn’t have been his fault. She must be some horrible girl, right?

I don’t really know what drew me into his web… I wonder now if I felt sorry for him, or if I just wanted someone to love me. Either way, not great to start a relationship with someone with those circumstances.

From that moment on, we spent a lot of time together. We talked on the phone, saw each other in person, etc. And things between us progressed very quickly. Before we knew it, we were planning on getting married and starting a life together. I’m talking within a month’s time.

And then, one night in March, the violence against me began.

Let’s just say that I started doing things I didn’t normally do when I met him. And I had been drinking, and he tried to take me home like that. After he pushed me down in his apartment, he tried to drive me home…and I tried to jump out of a moving car. So, he took me back to his place, and I sobered up. Little did I know, he had met some girl at the gas station, and he had a date for that night. I guess he stood her up, huh? Of course, I didn’t know about this until later, but that was the way things started.

My parents, I don’t know how they stood watching all of this happen, knew something bad was going on. They forbade me from seeing him, set a curfew on me, etc. I think NOW that it was them trying to protect me, but then, I thought they were trying to ruin and run my life. So, I saw him anyway and forced the issue. My dad told me one morning before work that if I saw him again, I would find my stuff on the porch. So, at lunch that day, I went out and got myself an apartment for ME. No one else…just me.

I didn’t really care that my grandparents were there that weekend, or that it was my mom’s birthday. I didn’t think about what this would do to my sister and brother, or anyone else, for that matter. I just needed OUT. Of all of it.

Well, I hurt my parents and made them angry, and I made Don very angry, too. He couldn’t figure out why I just wouldn’t move in with him! Well, I know that I was trying to make some decisions for my life that had nothing to do with him or my parents or anyone else. I was 18, soon to be 19, had my own car, my own job, my own life. But no one saw me as an individual. I was always someone’s daughter or sister or girlfriend. I was not myself. This was my attempt at freedom.

Freedom comes at a high price sometimes. And I wasn’t really free, though. I was living as a prisoner, and I didn’t even have a clue.